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RELATED:22 Reasons to Stop Worrying About His Ex-Girlfriend17 Things I Wish I'd Known About Getting Over an Ex When I Was Younger11 Reasons Why He Broke Up With You Follow Lindsay on Twitter.rules of feminism (which don't really exist, just FYI), pursuing your BFF’s former lover is considered one of the coldest things one woman can do to another—right up there with sleeping with a married man or refusing to share your extra tampon in the ladies room.
The reverse is also true; no matter how much you love discussing your dude with your besties, his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life. It's OK to come to your partner for advice if you're arguing with your friend, or vice versa, but absolutely resist the urge to belittle or insult one of them to the other.
Besides, comparing yourself to anybody — even if you come out ahead — is going to lead to feeling crappy, because basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to someone else is Not Healthy.
So don't seek out comparisons, and if your dude brings up the topic, tell him you're not interested in hearing it. Don't try to keep your boyfriend and your bud from associating because you're afraid they still have feelings for each other, and don't constantly seek reassurance that that's not the case.
Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.
It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.