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I felt like I put in lots of effort to see her, and she put in very little effort to see me.She has never been good at balancing things, and now with a boyfriend and best friends in two different cities (me and a friend from college), she's predictably having trouble balancing.This is Allie's first relationship, first time being in love, and it's really important to her.As might be expected in this situation, I feel like I've been shafted.I just want this trip to be as fulfilling and incredible as we've always imagined it to be. Am I being overly sensitive or does she hold some responsibility as well? Signed, Christie ANSWERDear Christie, Obviously, this friendship has been important over the years to both you and Allie.It's normal to feel a sense of loss (and some jealousy) when your best friend falls in love with your roommate.She says she's on board and as excited as I am, but I know leaving Paul is a loss for her.I have a very uncomfortable tangle of emotions related to her, her relationship, and this trip.
If she isn't, you need to give her an escape clause.It's going really well--they are in love, and they make time to see each other and make it work.They are currently on the East Coast, so Allie can meet Paul's family.We used to text little minutia to each other, jokes and the things that make a friendship, but I don't even like doing that any more because it hurts me when she doesn't respond.I don't like admitting it, but I think there is some jealousy involved--jealousy at the place Paul has taken in her life that used to be mine, jealousy of the relationship that she has that I don't.