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If it happened twice in a row, though, I think you would be justified in asking, "Should I expect this every time we go out?
" I would probably laugh the first episode off, but two in a row would make me consider whether I was compatible with that person.
Spending too much time around smoke can also give me a headache.
I might have hyperosmia (a heightened sensitivity to smell) - the smell of smoke isn't the only smell I have a problem with, but it tends to be the most consistently problematic.
However, be extra careful in not expressing any judgment of any type (health, money, you name it) and be tactful ("If you don't mind, can I ask you..." / "You can not answer if you're not comfortable with it, but..." etc). As for the type of compromise to reach for when you're together, ask them what's their suggestion: Maybe you'll find out that if you go and eat Chinese food, then the cigarette is just compulsory, but not if you just go to a park (just making these up), and you two will decide to postpone the Chinese food night for a while. Being with other smokers is a big push towards smoking, whereas being with a nonsmoker whom you care about is a good reason to just postpone a little bit that one cigarette. There are other minor details, like keeping cigarillos handy if I'm going to be around heavy cigarette smokers (I find the cigarillo smoke less bothersome, especially compared to menthols), but suffice it to say I smoke infrequently enough that for medical purposes, I'm considered effectively a non-smoker.
She ended up just forgetting smoking when we're together :). But if asked in a dating profile, I'd put "sometimes" so didn't appear dishonest or mislead someone who has a strong objection to smoking. I would treat this like you would any other part of someone's character.
If they start to light up when you're there, just ask them politely not to smoke around you ("I'm sorry, but would you mind not smoking around me? If it shows itself to be an issue, then it might be worth bringing up and discussing in more depth to see if it's going to be a deal-breaker for you.
Think about it this way: If someone had a few drinks, or even a few drinks on an outing, would you immediately become concerned and question them about it?Explain the symptoms you get when you smell smoke and ask if they could not smoke before or during any times you two meet up.You can even throw in a comment about how you don't really care that they smoke for moral reasons, but it's just for your well being. Note: If your date vapes, you might not have that much of a problem with the smell. And since we've been together for almost a year already, I can tell you that a couple of a non smoker and a smoker can exist and be happy. To get it, it was important to not make it a matter of principle, but a matter of what's important to me and what's important to her: she knows that I hate the smell when I'm eating, so during meals/snacks she sucks it up, whereas I know that the cigarette before going to bed is sacred for her, so I suck it up instead.My grandma was an avid smoker and still is up to the ripe old age of 80, but my mom made it absolutely clear that she should not be smoking around my siblings and I when we came over.My mother didn't care that she smoked, but just not to do it before or during our visit. You can bring it up before hand or the first time it happens, but you would probably want to mention it before hand.
There are thousands of people with whom you are fully compatible, so find nonsmokers at the get-go.